It took me a long time to find a man that I wanted to marry. Of course, I dated men, and I thought I wanted to marry them, but marriage wasn't really a reality. There were things that didn't fit with my personality or issues that I just couldn't conquer. I'm not sure I would have accepted the right man had he come along earlier in my life. I like solitude. I'm okay by myself because I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself and living my life without a companion to help. My relationship with my parents provides affection and love. Though a lover is enjoyable, I never thought about one as a necessity.
As I aged, I did realize that there was something that I wanted that only a husband could provide. I wanted to create a loving family. I wanted to enjoy raising children, and I wanted to do it with someone I loved, valued, and respected.
When I did meet my future husband, I didn't recognize what a treasure he was. I called him the "bird guy" because on our first date, he took me to a park and brought two pair of binoculars so that we could look at birds. This wasn't typical for me. A park, walking, and talking? Yes. Bringing binoculars? Um...no. I appreciate nature, but what is so great in Ohio that I need a pair of binoculars to see?
After some brush-offs on my part, my husband was kind enough to borrow a friend's truck to help me move my grandma into an assisted living home. He was so happily energetic, even in the pouring down rain, as he bustled from one side of the truck to the other tying down the mattress and furniture.
I rode with him in the truck, and my mom and grandma followed in the car behind us. We chatted as we drove, and I remember turning onto the street of the assisted living facility and him saying something about his job. At that moment, I caught a glimpse of something in him that I liked. Previous to that moment, he was just a really nice guy, but he wasn't someone I could see myself with. In that instant and the hour that followed, I recognized that I wasn't giving him a chance to show me who he was.
After my realization, everything fell into place. There were a few bumps, but we smoothed them out together.
I look at my relationship with him now, and I relish what we have. I am so privileged to be a part of his life. He makes me a better person. We laugh together, we live together, and we love together. It is a relationship unlike any that I have ever had, and I am thankful that I saw the glimmer of his essence before it was too late.