It is only logical that one might struggle in a new situation; I get that. Yet here I am, a new mother, discomforted by my lack of control dealing with my infant daughter. Everything I do not know makes me anxious and afraid. The diaper rash, the umbilical hernia, the spit up, the pacifier, the furrowed brow, the grumbly noises, the list is endless. Am I holding her enough? Am I holding her too much? Should I talk to her more? Is she content? How can I know? What should I do? The questions keep accumulating, and my feelings of control keep diminishing.
Logic reminds me that I'm a novice, unpracticed and ignorant. But my heart yearns to know for certain, to be the best, to control the situation.